


you’re as beautiful as endless, you’re the universe I’m helpless in

by komorebim



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Again, Agender Character, Biting, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Kissing, Making Out, Neck Kissing, Non-binary character, Past Abuse, There's a lot of kissing, a lot of space metaphors, it's before the story though, me projecting into jonghyun, nb!jonghyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 10:03:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14952557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/komorebim/pseuds/komorebim
Summary: But it wasn’t until they met Minhyun that they understood that they did belong somewhere, that they were not a wanderer floating around the universe, it wasn’t until they held Minhyun’s hand that they understood what belonging really meant.





	you’re as beautiful as endless, you’re the universe I’m helpless in

**Author's Note:**

> Jonghyun is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns here.  
> I am nb myself in case you were wondering.  
> I basically listened to venus by sleeping at last on repeat while writing to this so if you want to listen to it while reading go ahead! title taken from the same song!

Jonghyun gasps softly, hands finding a home in Minhyun’s broad shoulders as they feel a warm pair of lips trailing down their neck, their breath comes out ragged, heartbeat thundering inside their chest as Minhyun’s hands trail down their sides, they feel overwhelmed, chest warm with need and love. “Jju-ya,” Jonghyun shivers, a little whine escaping from their lips, “Jju-ya, I love you…love you so much.”

“Minhyun,” Jonghyun whispers, feels how their eyes start to sting, they don’t know why, perhaps is how they used to think no one would ever love them, that no one would ever understand them, but as they feel Minhyun’s lips against theirs, they know it’s not the case anymore, they can feel Minhyun’s love clashing against theirs and exploding into a supernova, stardust pouring into the kiss.

They don’t notice the tears spilling down their cheeks until Minhyun’s hand is there, wiping the wet trails and placing kisses where they used to be, “Jju-ya,” He says their name like a prayer, like Jonghyun is the only person that matters, like they belong in the universe he carefully crafted.

They know Minhyun’s tendency of closing off, of hiding inside his head and not letting anyone inside when he’s at his most vulnerable, and they understand, they used to pull themself apart into pieces like that, until they saw the stars in Minhyun’s eyes.

Jonghyun used to sit in this very bed, used to look outside the window at the stars, wondering what was wrong with them and if they needed to be fixed, they remember boxing themself inside their head, swallowing the wrong pronouns like a bitter pill.

Minhyun brushes their noses together, looking into Jonghyun’s eyes and seeing them glisten with unshed tears, they’re not going to say that Minhyun made them accept themself, they worked and they crawled their way out of their taut skin, they looked into the mirror and said the pronouns like a mantra, they broke down into tears countless of times until their eyes were red and their voice was raw, they learned to love themself through the years and they learned to be proud of themself, they did it themself.

But it wasn’t until they met Minhyun that they understood that they did belong somewhere, that they were not a wanderer floating around the universe, it wasn’t until they held Minhyun’s hand that they understood what belonging really meant.

“Do you think we belong together in other universes too?” Jonghyun whispers against Minhyun’s lips, hands trailing up his back, inside his shirt and up to his shoulders.

“I belong anywhere you are, Jju-ya…I love you in any universe we’re in, I’ll love you in any lifetime,” Minhyun whispers back, his own hands finding their way to Jonghyun’s cheeks.

Jonghyun can feel both their heartbeats beating where their chests touch, they can see Minhyun’s eyes shining and Jonghyun knows he’s trying to keep it together too, but they know it’s not out of sadness, they know that it’s the feeling of belonging, of belonging together and fitting together like puzzle pieces, they know that meeting Minhyun was fate.

They remember reading an article about parallel universes once, how if you entered a blackhole there was a possibility of finding your way into another universe, back then they wondered if in any other universe they might be different, they wondered if in another universe what they are was socially acceptable, they wondered if they would still get beat up and bruised if the word reached other ears, they remember touching the bruises on their ribs and hoping it was true.

“Maybe my curtains are yellow in another universe,” they whisper, eyes shining and a soft smile spreading on their face as they see Minhyun laugh, they watch as he throws his head back, eyes shining with mirth, they think he looks beautiful, ethereal even, as the moonlight shines through their window and hits his face, light brown locks turning almost silver.

Minhyun hums, smiling so wide and bright Jonghyun thinks maybe the sun could be a person, that it can shine even at dawn, “You think in another universe we met at a bar instead of meeting in that god-awful biology class?” Jonghyun makes a face.

“I don’t think we’d ever go to a bar in any universe, that’s just not realistic,” Their smile broadens as they listen to Minhyun giggle and hide his face in their neck, his breaths puffing against the sensitive skin, they shiver when they feel those lips on their neck again, angling it so Minhyun has easier access, they let their eyes close and lets themself drown in the sensation of a warm tongue making its way to their collarbones, breath coming out heavy as they feel teeth sinking into their skin.

“Maybe we met in high school there,” Minhyun whispers, breath fanning against Jonghyun’s damp skin, “If we did, I would’ve stopped them,” Minhyun doesn’t have to say who, doesn’t need to throw names for Jonghyun to know he means those people who beat them up.

They smile gently, a hand making its way to Minhyun’s soft hair, caressing it softly, “You couldn’t fight for your life, Minhyun,” They hear the boy scoff, giggling as he bites their skin again, a little bit harder, enough to make them gasp and arch their body towards him.

“Maybe in another universe I can…” Minhyun lets his weight rest against his elbows so he can be eye level with Jonghyun, “I wish I was there for you, I wish you had anyone back then,” Jonghyun shakes their head.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, not when I have you, not when I have Minki, Dongho and Aron,” Jonghyun smiles, “I have many people in my life now, what happened in the past shaped me into the person I am today, and I’m grateful for that,” They blink back the tears, bumping their nose with Minhyun’s, “I am better now and I am strong,”

They lean forward, lips meeting Minhyun’s softly, delicately but firm at the same time, “I wouldn’t change anything, I don’t need another universe when I have you in this one, not when I feel proud of who I am,” Minhyun smiles against their lips.

“I’m proud of you too, Jju-ya,” He whispers, if they try hard enough, they can see the stars in Minhyun’s eyes, how they shine brighter than the first time they met, if they focus, they can see the constellations connecting and they feel a little bit breathless, they can feel the universe expanding around them, creating a safe haven, creating a galaxy of their own, “I’m proud of the person you’ve become, I wouldn’t want you any other way, and whatever you decide to do, I’m going to be right behind you,” Jonghyun gives up on trying to hold back the tears.

“I’d rather you be right beside me,” They whisper, thumb brushing against Minhyun’s cheekbone, Minhyun nods, angling his head to kiss Jonghyun’s palm softly.

“I’ll be wherever you want me to be,” They smile at each other softly, lips meeting once again and hands mapping each other’s skin, losing themselves in each other.

Jonghyun knows there’s still a lot of themself to understand, they know they’re still going to have doubts and they know they’re still going to be confused sometimes, it’s something they’ve learnt to accept, it’s a never ending cycle, but they’ve learned to focus on what’s important, they’ve learned to stand tall instead of letting bad thoughts cloud their judgment, they’ve learned to find solace in the love they receive, the love they understand they deserve.

They lace their fingers with Minhyun and brings their joined hands to their chest, let’s Minhyun feels their steady heartbeat, “Every heartbeat is something I cherish, and I intend of making them count,” Minhyun doesn’t say anything but the way he squeezes their hand is enough answer.

They’re both alive, they’re both in orbit with each other and they don’t need anything else.

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't realized yet, I project my feelings into jonghyun all the time rip, this was compeltely self-indulgent because I wanted to write representation for myself, I'm also still getting used to my pronouns so I wanted to write something to help me get used to it, if there's any mistakes please let me know.
> 
> inspired by this tweet  
> https://twitter.com/krysjxngs/status/929179755462590464  
> which was inspired by a scene from the norwegian series skam (you should watch it)
> 
> you can follow me on twt on @angelminhyun  
> I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
